March, this year, came in like a tornado. I can’t say how it exited – because we are still trying to get out of the shelter we jumped into – at least emotionally. The feeling of sadness is better; the feeling of grief is better; the feeling of we HAVE to continue living is a fact of life. But we miss someone in it, very much.
That person was my mother in law.
It is hard to imagine it has only been two weeks and two days since we buried her – or a few more days since she went to be with our Lord. Perhaps the longest and hardest thing about her dying was the suffering she went through and what the family sat by, day after day, watching doctors try to save her life.
My husband insists the bedside vigil was the hardest.
I think the dying was especially horrid.
The worst feeling? We couldn’t do anything to save her.
For the first week, I think all the immediate family members were walking around in a daze of pain, waiting for immediate closure. Immediate closure after a death doesn’t happen. It is through the Kubler Ross process or another type of grieving process that we heal.
Mother use to say it was “time and tide.” I think she had something there. I again praise God that He took such a wonderful and great woman Home during the season of Easter and the theme of Resurrection. I don’t think we could have handled losing her during Christmas or Thanksgiving.
Oh, what an honor it was to have been her friend. What a honor to have been her daughter in law, if only for a few years. Tonight, as I was gathering tax information, I found her birthday card to her son, dated February 10, 2015. She had mailed it from the hospital in Memphis to her son, my husband. She died a month later. I sat down and started at her penmanship and cried. No more cards – her favorite thing to do with us. When I stayed in her home during her illness, I found a note to “get Anne and Ian’s birthday cards. Don’t forget!” on a piece of paper. Daily, I would touch it and pray – my only birthday gift I wanted was her healing.
Instead, my sister in law and I were a week apart in our birthdays after her burial.
March came in like a tornado, but April looms tomorrow and we think of her that we loved. The card reads, “You’re a special son…You’ll never know how much it means to have you for a son, or what a warm ray of sunshine your affection in the lives of those who love you so…”
Oh, Geneva, he does – and we do. Thank you, darling lady, for this card….A true symbol you are thinking of us as we rebuild after the tornado of losing you. I welcome April as a month of rebirth in this Easter season.